the house...

So, looks like where meeting with a realtor on Tuesday. Whew! That feels like a big step. I honestly feel sometimes like this last push to make the house look good (flower beds, staging bedrooms....it's oh-so-fun for me!) is causing my heart to get a little bit more attached to our house. Home is where we are, right? And I know that where ever we are, we will be able to make it a home for us. ....I do realize that, don't I?
I act like we're selling the house next week. I hope not, but it could be a very long time that we stuck in Spartanburg. We're trying to prepare ourselves for a long 6-12 months, but I can tell by my actions at work especially that my heart is ready to be onto the next step.
It's such a juxtaposition. My heart is longing to be onto the field and doing what I feel I was made to do. Then, at the very same time, I have such a sadness about leaving our home and friends here behind. As Jim Elliot says, "where ever you are, be all there." He's right. God has us here for at least one more day, so I might as well BE ALL HERE-soaking up every minute of everything, but ready to let it all go when God opens that door.

Summer Reading

Happy Friday!! I wanted to quickly share my ambitious summer reading list. I call it ambitious because since I finished NGU (4 years ago!?) I haven't been much of a reader. ...that is except for fiction, which I've had to outlaw. It's true. I love fiction! I get totally captivated by the stories and forget I have responsibilities. So, here's the list. Some I had to read in college and didn't retain what I learned, so I'm reading them leisurely now.

The Missionary Call by David Sills.

It's about discerning the "call to missions." Is everyone called? Steps to take when going to the field. What's life like on the field. Should be VERY appropriate.

Don't Waste Your Life by John Piper.
I attempted reading this in November b/c A. Mac (Allen McWhite-our pastor) highly recommended it while we were in Ecuador. It was a tough read, so I gave up. I'm going to give it another try.

Keep a Quiet Heart by Elisabeth Elliot.

This is a HUGE topic for me right now. Will share more later.

Let the Nations be Glad by John Piper

Classic missions book. I think I skimmed in college as a requirement. Now, I want to soak it up.

Have a Mary Heart in a Martha World.

A topic that i dealt with a lot in the Fall. Actually, that's when I bought this book and just haven't read it yet. ....by golly I'm going to read it! I'm always struggling with things that need to be done vs. THE GOOD THING-sitting at the feet of Jesus.

So Long Insecurity. You've Been a Bad Friend to Us.

I've heard it's practically an autobiography of Beth Moore. I struggle with fear and being inadequate and small that's it's quite pathetic.

Through Gates of Splendor by Elisabeth Elliot

Ah, need I say more? Just in case someone isn't familiar, it's about a group of missionaries in Ecuador (including Jim, Elisabeth's husband) who were martyred while sharing the gospel. I can't wait to read this again!

The Valley of Vision: A Collection of Puritan Poems and Prayers
I'm using this in my devotional time. I'm excited!


I'll keep you posted on what I learn. Let me know if you've read any of these or if you have other recommendations!!

Have a great weekend! It's my b-day weekend. I think we're staging two bed rooms to put the house on the market. One step closer!!

BPB

The Beginning

Where do I even being? What a unbelievable road we have been on for the last 3 years. I say "unbelievable" because if you told me 5 years ago that I would STILL be figuring out God's plan for my future I wouldn't believe you! Well, nonetheless, here we are. I really thought (key words) that God would have us in some remote, isolated village in a beautiful Spanish-speaking country by now. Here was MY plan: gratuate from NGU, get married, go to seminary, then go to mission field. Isn't that easy and so neatly packaged? Well, friend, our Father hasn't worked like that. I had made those cookie-cutter plans and really didn't consult Him once. So, He took me to Mexico for a summer...by myself.
It wasn't a "bad" trip by any means, but God humbled me in ways I've never known. I have never been so homesick. I cried every day. I hardly shared my faith and never saw any one meet the same Savior that I know. (I know, I know...it's about planting seeds, being obedient, etc. but it's still hard.) After Mexico, my precious plans weren't looking so rosey. I thought, "I never want to leave my Momma again." So, for 3 years I ignored a very clear call to missions and basically ignored my Savior.
About a year ago, God started rocking my boat. (Sorry for all of the coloquial & cliche sayings! I just can't help myself!) I could no longer deny my hypocritical actions behind closed doors. Yeah, I looked and acted the part of Mrs. I've-Got-It-All-Together-and-Have-a-Great-Relationship-with-God attitude, but in my heart, it was still "all about Betsy." God convicted me about not being in His Word and loving & serving Him with my entire heart (rather than just putting Him on the to-do list of my heart).
Since then, He's been doing a lot...and I am SO thankful. He's taught me that He will take care of me. Through a series of small steps, He's finally brought Scott & I both to the place where we can say, "okay God. Whatever You want. Where ever You want us to go...we'll go." I still struggle with fear on occassion. My main fear is that life will be hard. Isn't that SAD!?! (By the way, as someone new to blogging...to see this in writing is really weird & scary.) But, God's teaching me that as long as we are being obedient, He will be our comfort. Not only is "home where the heart is" but my Home is where my Jesus is! And if He takes us to the remotest parts of Ecuador and I can't see, muchless WEAR, the latest fashions, then we'll still be okay AND we just might ENJOY it!?! I'm so glad that God is our comforter and our Home and that no matter where He takes us (even if it's keeping us here in good ol' South Carolina) that we will be with Him.
Currently, we're in the process of getting our house ready and putting it on the market. Then, we feel like God's (finally) telling us to go to seminary. YAY! Only God knows what is to follow in the next year or so. We hope to do the 2 plus 2 program at Southeaster which is 2 years at seminary and 2 years on the field, but as mentioned in great detail above...God's precious plan is what we're following now. Only God knows where Home will be.
Thanks for listening.
BPB